SeductionxAttraction
by Lady of Revenge
Summary: Rockstar with a lonely, black heart. Smirking stalker with a secret. When one look changes into obsession. ItaSasu. Will be complete the way it is, an open ending fits the fic better than something else.
1. Begin The Nightmare

**Name:** Seduction.Attraction.

**Pairing:** Itachi x Sasuke

**Disclaimer:** Do you really think I own NARUTO?

**WARNINGS:** incest/shounen-ai, unexistant plot (or atleast a tiny bit of a plot with holes), slow updates (because I'm working on two fics at the same time and focusing on the other a BIT more), Sasuke's extremely dirty mouth (especially if he's drunk and he will be, many times), OOC:ness, dark themes, idiot drummers, sneaky evil mysterious men.. you'll see.

**Recommended songs: **Suigintou no Yoru (lyrics on this first chap is from this song, only translated to english, weird lyrics huh?), Stainless Night, Christmas On The Silkroad and Quincy no Hokori ni Kakete by who else but Noriaki Sugiyama, the voice for Sasuke. You know.

This is kind of different of what I usually write, but a friend of mine is a total manipulative bastard and shit happened and here we are. Hope someone reads (and likes).

- - -

Uchiha Sasuke has never known what true feelings are.

Lust. The _passion._

Pain. It's smothering.

He can laugh, cry, get angry.. but not like the others. It's not real. Why it doesn't matter to him anymore?  
Why, he's famous, has lots of fans, is one of the most wanted bachelors in our time, but he's just never interested.

Being a singer should be fun, lots and lots of hard work, but still. Something is missing from it. It's not like he hasn't had any offers before, hardcore offers for sex and drugs (and rock'n'roll, he admits), more innocent offers for dates, kisses, hugs, autographs. He rejects them all, his coal black eyes hard like steel, always, every single time looking somewhere else than to the one who's offering.

It's like he's scared. Somehow.

Getting angry and lashing at his bandmates for everything, shutting off everyone. You can hear it in his music, in his voice, it's like he's calling for someone, not really knowing who. Like he's in pain, the way he writhes on the stage, slender fingers clutching the microphone, eyes scanning the crowd of screaming fans. Looking for someone, calling for someone. Just.. someone to take him away.

Save him from himself, from his hidden feelings that threaten to burst out. He hides it from everyone, from the prying eyes of his manager, Pain - what a fitting name that is! -, from the worried gazes of his weird and weirder bandmates. Not really caring if they knew that he's scared, he feels lonely, like there's a hole in him.

Tonight, perhaps. Maybe tonight, when they have their gig, someone's there? Someone's eyes are on him - not just any, not the lustful eyes of those teenage girls -, seeing deeper, seeing beneath the surface.

Tonight when he and his bandmates step on the stage, filling the place with their dark sounds, telling stories of hatred, lust, misery.

Tonight it is.

-

-

-

Soft sounds begin to fill the large room, completely crowded by screaming fans, mostly young females - most perhaps attracted to the gig by the gorgeous players -, and interested males. First there comes the bassist, the quiet man, his oddly-coloured hair shining in the dim lights, fingers already on the strings. Then there's a loud bang, flash of light and the guitar moans loud, the guitarist bursting out laughing, the drummer grins at him, he grins back. Another set of fingers is running over the keyboard, transferring the ones hearing the sounds it makes to totally another world. World that is dark and black and sinister.

And then comes the voice, that hypnotizing, silky voice:  
_"The light of the mercury lamp that emerges in the night streets  
even if I don't have tears, it still somehow runs down..."_  
And they all forget everything, everything except the one lazily strutting to the centre of the stage. The leader, the one keeping it all together.  
_"..My black shadow that hides in the night streets.."_  
The room is suddenly very silent.  
_"..even if I don't have any sympathy, somehow my walking pace is fast.."_ Just listening to that voice that has already swallowed their hearts and made them forever its slaves.

It's hypnotic, the way he moves, the way he sings, the way his fingers move up and down the microphone. They all know who he is, what he does, _Sasuke Uchiha,_ that is, Sasuke, Sasuke, _Sasuke,_ they whisper and then begin to scream. There's a slight smirk on his lips now, even though his black eyes are so cold.

_"..On my back there's one more scent of tears  
that follows me, that follows me.."_  
And his eyes are scanning the crowd again, once in a while setting on someone, but never for long.  
_"..that follows me, that follows me..."_  
It's seductive, the way the lights are caressing his black-clad body, making his white skin stand out even more, the porcelain boy that everybody wants but no one gets. He can see it, the stupid, pitiful lust in their eyes, the passion, the love - how can they know that? how can he know that? love, what is it? - , the envy - ooh that's a feeling he could understand! - and all that. Their feelings are so strong, so powerful it flows into him.  
_"On my back is the single hesitation of my heart  
that flees, that I go after  
that flees, that goes right past me.."_  
He's teasing them, he knows it. It's the _'you can watch, but you can't touch'_-aura around him. Even the bandmate of his - the eccentric drummer called _Hidan_ -, who's a notorious ladies man and man's man, sometimes, knows to keep his hands off. Sasuke doesn't let anyone that close, trouble trusting, perhaps?

Oh, what is that?

_Who is that?_

There's a pause in his singing, he barely notices it, the others don't notice at all. Black eyes widening a bit, breath hitching in his throat. Another set of dark eyes settles on him, sending shivers down his spine, that gaze is.. deep. Like it sees right through his soul ..  
_"One, two, the shadows combine.."_  
The man standing in the dark is like a shadow, like he's going to disappear any second. Isn't this what he wished for? Someone to truly see him, see the pathetic little coward he is? Sasuke stares, his voice lowering down into a husky whisper - the poor, pitiful fans always love it-, the corners of his mouth turning upwards.  
_"...and stabs me through the heart  
The two shadows that merge together  
In the evening of the mercury lamp..."_

The man in the shadows smirks, never speaking, just standing there. Sasuke can't take his eyes off him, white fingers clutching the microphone, lips barely open.  
Why is the other so hypnotic, it's like he's a dark angel from somewhere deep and fiery, coming to... what?

Take him away?

Sasuke blinks, but doesn't stop, his gaze fixed on the other.

Why does it feel like fingers are strangling him?

Few more songs and sweatdrops later they make their dramatic exit, only to know they would return. No, it doesn't take a long for the fans to do their job and start screaming their lungs out.

"ENCORE! ENCORE! AGAIN!" They scream all over again, those girls with their dark make-up, those boys with their dark clothes, all of their styles imitating the ones in the band. So encore it is, they march on the stage, filling the hot, crowded space with their being, the sounds of dying feelings. Sasuke sings, but his thoughts are somewhere else, his eyes follow the tall figure in the back of the large room, wishing for that smirk to come up again, wishing for those pleasant - although strange - shivers go up and down his back.

The figure looks back and really does what he's expected, Sasuke can see him licking his lips for a second. His grip on the microphone suddenly tightens, breathing feels more harder than ever. He blinks and almost stumbles, awkwardly almost - just _almost_ - smiling, but gaining control of himself once more.

It's over and the fans never see anything different in their god, not noticing that the wetness on his face is not sweat, that the flush comes not from the hard singing and rocking. The figure that he's been following with his eyes, with his heart, is looking triumphant, it's like he knows it's his fault that Sasuke's in pain, like someone's strangling him. When the figure turns away, disappears, Sasuke wants to run and stop him.

_No, no, no! Don't go, don't go.. _

_I want to know who you are. _

_Why do I feel like this?_

_What do you do to me?_

But no, the figure is gone, the gig has ended but there's still things to do. And no, Sasuke's not the type to run after someone, he's the one who expects everyone to run to him. Indeed, things to do and he pushes the stranger away from his mind. They still have to meet those giggling girls, _vip_-visitors, those damn annoying fans that always want hugs and kisses and autograps and photos and are sometimes so daring to ask for sex.

Hidan is the one who always agrees - _sex addict,_ Pain snorts and kicks him for good measure -, Deidara agrees too, even though he doesn't actually care, doesn't even like it. But Sasuke. He never says a thing, shakes his head and backs away. Touching is a no-no. Now when he's sitting backstage, slipping of his leather jacket, leaving the damn hot mesh shirt on, sipping his water, he feels miserable. He sighs when Deidara starts listening his OLIVIA-cd:s and dancing his stupid dances.

"Oi, Sasuke-kun," the honey-ed voice starts and he snorts.

"What, mr. _Pain?"_ The name is just too freaky, so he actually manages to chuckle, even though his heart is giving out. Where did the dark figure go?

"I noticed something while you were on stage," their manager starts and sits opposite to him. His messy orange hair combined with his many many piercings and those hypnotic eyes always manage to freak everyone out. Pain was a famous rock star few years ago, until he noticed that teasing new stars is more fun than doing all the hard work himself. Lazy bastard, today's rockstar thinks.  
Pain in the ass, fortunately not literally. Sasuke raises his eyebrow. The manager barely grins, the dim lights of their room dancing on the silver of his piercings.  
"You weren't there." Other eyebrow rises too.

" Yes, singing, I know, but your presence. It wasn't there. What were you looking at? Those fans aren't that interesting, or those shadows in the back of the room. Or..." Pain leans forward and now reveals his teeth. Sasuke narrows his eyes, ready to snap back at him. He's so not in the mood for this.  
".. _was_ there someone interesting?" The singer almost chokes on his water, black eyes widening.  
"W-what?" He croaks, coughing.  
"No, no.. there.. w-wasn't." His voice shakes and he hates himself for it. Pain's dangerous eyes narrow. He doesn't believe a word and Sasuke knows he sucks at lying. But they are interrupted, when Hidan's loud laugh echoes from somewhere.  
"Oi! Sasuke! Sir Pain! They're heeeeereeeee!" It's like the air-headed drummer doesn't realize that his voice causes people to actually wish to be born with natural ear plugs.

Geez. Sasuke sighs. "..the fuck." He stands up and readies himself for the meeting of the few lucky fans. He excepts, as always, a group of giggling, barely sixteen-year-old girls with dark-circled eyes and dark clothes and blushing faces, but no. He gets something else.  
Yes, there are girls, pretty, like always but Sasuke doesn't care. Let the others take care of them. Zetsu, the quiet bassist with black and white hair, shooks his head while noticing the last fan - is this.. man really a fan or some _intruder?_ - and the look on Sasuke's face. Hidan doesn't notice, he's too occupied with the girls, as is Deidara, always the funny guy. Kisame shows his sharp canines and earns a few "terrified" shrieks from the girls.

Sasuke bites his lip and lowers his gaze.

The man standing in front of him is exactly the one that he was staring at.

And he feels ashamed for acting like that, but...  
"Good evening, Uchiha-kun." That voice. So deep and quiet, with a hint of sarcastic personality. Sasuke blinks and looks up. He flinches. The other is suddenly very close now, the noise of the room disappearing somewhere, leaving him in the silence, noticing just the other. Dark eyes. Just like his. Dark hair. Just like his.  
He doesn't like to admit it, but it's there. The attraction. The fear.

"A..Ah.. g-good evening," Sasuke chokes on his words, hates how weak his voice is. Fingers on his hair, now on his cheek, on his jaw, his eyes meets the others now and he shivers.  
"Why are you scared? I am just "poor, pitiful fan"... is that it?" Sasuke's eyes widen. It's like the other read his mind. He bites his lip again, shivering all over.  
"W.. who are you?" His only answer is a amused chuckle, finger sliding over his lips. Sasuke hates this, hates himself for being suddenly like a weak little boy, hates the other for being so.. alluring, like the nameless man is seducing him, that damned devil.  
"You learn my name later, Uchiha-kun. Now.. will you come with me?" He whispers and Sasuke shooks his head. What a fucking pedophile.  
"No way in fucking hell," he hisses and is ready to claw at something. He hasn't even noticed, how he has rosen, how he has walked behind the other, away from the room, out of sight. The nameless man's dark eyes glimmer, he's amused. He doesn't say anything, presses his hand again Sasuke's chest, pushes him so embarrassingly easily against the wall.

"W-what.. the fuck do you think you're - " There it is, the breath on his face, fingers caressing his cheek. It's so close, few inches that those lips would touch his, but no, the other teases, laughs against his face.  
"You'll learn who I am someday, Uchiha-kun." Sasuke claws at the other's shirt, not really wanting for the other to let him go. Blaming his lack of resistance on his two-hour-sleep, on tonight's tiring gig.  
"... thought so," the taller man says, backs away and still doesn't do what Sasuke wants him to do. No touching.  
It's a _no-no._  
And the man is gone and Sasuke crumbles to the floor, hand on his face, eyes wide. What. The. Hell.

---

When they finally get back to the hotel room, Sasuke refuses contact with anyone. He doesn't feel like eating either, food would taste like total crap in his mouth now. He's tired, his head is spinning, but he doesn't want to sleep either. Who knows what kind of dreams would he see? He just can't. It's a pain in the ass to share a room with four nosy people, that is, two loudmouthed idiots and two other weirdos, but they can't help it.

Sasuke stands in the balcony, leaning over the railing, staring at the brightly-lit city and can't help wonder, like a love-struck teenage girl, he thinks mockingly, tightens his hold on the railing. Is _that_ man still there? Does he walk on some street, maybe that one right below his balcony, looks up and sees him there. _It's so dark he can't see, in his eyes that is. _He dislikes himself for missing someone shady and weird and interesting like that. Sasuke curses quietly and turns to face the room, the night breeze is getting too cold for him.

He stops and raises his eyebrows. It is kinda unnerving to see five more or less creepy guys - yes, including Pain, where the heck did he come from? - staring at you. Even Zetsu, who's usually not interested at anything, is gazing at him. Sasuke narrows his eyes, not wanting this. Don't ask questions, you stupid, cursed people! Because I don't know the answers, I just don't know. I don't want to tell you, he wants to yell, but no sound comes out, except for a snappy:  
"What?!" His answer is a wide grin from Deidara, who tries to poke his forehead, he backs away just in time.  
"You were totally out of it, Sasuke-kun," the blonde guitarist mocks.  
"You're never out of it, Sasuke-kun," Kisame adds and cocks his head to the side. His sharp teeth really could make anyone nervous. Sasuke looks away, eyebrow twitching.  
"So..." That horribly irritating chuckle again. Deidara looks like he has just heard the best joke ever.  
"There was someone interesting in the crowd, now wasn't there?" Now it's Pain, his voice is creepingly deep but amused, even though he never shows a smile. His hypnotic eyes lock Sasuke in their trap and his caught by the sudden question. Before he gains control of himself, the others lean forward, worry turning into curiosity.  
"Oh my... is our little Ice Princess a human, after all? Who - "  
"Fuck off," Sasuke hisses angrily. "It's none of your fucking business what's happened and for your information, nothing. has. happened. I'm just really tired and you're not helping! There. Is. NO ONE!" He doesn't realize that he's almost yelling by now, scared that the others would find out about... well, that. He never yells. He can hiss and claw and be a bitch, but he never yells. Never loses his nerve like that, is always the quiet one. But now it's different and why's that?

He charges to the door and runs in the corridor, away. This room, these people are choking him.  
"No, Zetsu-san," Pain stops him when he sees the bassist edging to the door. "Let the Ice Princess cool down on his own. And you know..." The manager shows a hint of his rare smile.  
"That by reacting so strongly, there's sure to be someone that caught our Princess' eye," now he's serious again, even though his tone of voice give away his sarcasm and curiosity.  
"Now, I wonder who that someone might be. He or she must be special to get under Sasuke-kun's skin," he continues, shaking his head. He knows his right. Since when is the boss of the company, the manager of the popular band wrong? Especially when it's him?

"I must go. Take care," he walks away from the room, leaves four more or less dumbfounded men behind.

-- ----

Downstairs, at the hotel bar, which fortunately is open till 4am, Sasuke sits on his lonely table, staring numbly at the glass in his hand. What is he doing here, drowning his confusion into the sweet bliss that alcohol brings for a while, perhaps? Like that's going to help, but he wants desperately to forget his messed up thought even for a minute. He downs that glass and more after that. Dizzy and miserable. Miserable and dizzy. The table starts to spin in his eyes. He stumbles up and limps towards the door. _Oh goddamnit, where did the... floor.. disappear.._ he sighs and grabs his head. God it hurts. He doesn't have time, everything vanishes into darkness around him.

Sometime after, he wakes up. Dizzy, head spinning and feeling like it's going to split open. He reaches out his hand and grabs something._ Hmm._ He sees the red numbers and sighs._ Five_ in the fucking morning. He turns around in the soft sheets, still drowsy from sleep and hangover. It takes him few seconds to realize that something is very, very wrong. _Sheets?_ This is not.. not his room. He blinks and looks around, only then realizing too that his clothes have somehow disappeared. What the hell happened last night! He wonders and sits, starting to panic and despising himself for it.

"Oh. You're awake, Uchiha-kun," says the all-too-familiar voice and Sasuke's eyes widen. He rubs his tired eyes, shakes his head and forgetting the splitting headache for a second. There.

There in the doorstep is that man, that deceiving smirk on his young, intriguing face. And those eyes, dark, dark eyes - is that a hint of red he sees? - that Sasuke feels like he's being pulled into. He rips the poor rock star apart with that look, but the latter can't look away. He tightens the blanket around him, it brings at least a little safety from the prying eyes.

"Explain," he whispers, biting his lip.  
"What the fuck am I doing here?!" He hisses, grabbing the shreds of his dignity and courage, even though he's stark naked - of sweet Jesus, that too! - in a total stranger's room. The stranger comes closer, sits on the edge of the bed. Sasuke backs against the wall, dragging the silky blanket, damn it for being so thin, with him. The stranger looks at him, his eyes are so black, his face older, tired. But the curving of his lips, that teasing smirk is tempting. Sasuke flushes and quickly looks away, feeling terribly uncomfortable under that gaze.  
"Don't you want to be?" The strange man asks and Sasuke flinches, his defenses starting to crumble. It's embarrassing how easily that happens. His eyes narrow and his hands start to shake, those slender, white fingers.

"W-what the fuck do you think? I have a.. g-goddamn hangover and some stranger decides to kidnap me!" It's all he can say, before a finger is placed on his lips, succesfully silencing him. Or is it because that other hand which places feather-light touches on his face, on his chest.

"I took you with me a little after you fainted at the bar. There was no one there at that time of night, you know. Something could have happened," the stranger looks almost hurt that Sasuke would dare to doubt him for ulterior motives. He moves his hands away, it's like he has never done anything. Sasuke trembles, wanting to believe, but his rational side is screaming for him to run away.  
"Are you... telling the truth?" He hisses, on the verge of believing. The miserable hangover and confused feelings towards this person cloud his judgement, are making him think twice. He can barely keep himself under control. The stranger moves away, near the door, shrugging.  
"I'm a bad liar," he admits, the light of the room creepily dancing in his eyes. Now Sasuke knows his lying, or is he? He looks at the rock star, that dangerous gaze that sends shivers.

"Fuck off," Sasuke whispers and stumbles out of the bed. He reaches the door, tries the lock and turns around, but before he even has time to open his mouth, the voice whispers right beside his ear and nibbles lightly on it:  
"Don't you care about your dignity? Running like that in the corridors." Sasuke almost drops the blanket that he's desperately holding onto as he flinches.  
"I-I care about only getting out of here. You have no right. Unlock. The. Door," his voice lowers down into a whisper, he's ready to do everything to get away. The blackhaired man leans forward, still smirking.  
"As you wish, Sasuke," lips brush his forehead, fingers touch his face and then there's the audible click, indicating that the door is now unlocked.

"Y-you- !" Sasuke stutters and stumbles, when the other pushes him to the corridor.  
"I bid you farewell," the other says mockingly and licks his lip, winking. He closes the door right in front of him. The corridor is terribly quiet. Sasuke stares at the closed door for a second, totally dumbfounded. Then he blinks and hisses.  
"Fucker!" He knows the stranger won't open, no matter who much he does that. Fucker, he thinks again and turns to walk away, completely and utterly humiliated. But wasn't it you who wanted to get away, even without your clothes, whispers the little voice in the back of his head. He tightens the blanket around him and runs. He's glad it's an early morning so no one's really there.

What floor is this.. number... number.. what the.. ! The fucker had been under him all the time, just one floor! Sasuke hides the other feelings in his anger and runs the stairs, hoping that no one sees. And no one sees, but he still feels like someone's eyes are on him. Wasn't that what he wished for? Don't kiss me, don't touch me. He reaches his room's door and knocks, lowering his head in shame. It opens. Pain doesn't say anything, just shakes his head.  
"Don't let it get into your head," the manager says and looks serious for a while. Sasuke avoids their looks, their questions and locks himself away in the bathroom. _Don't kiss me, don't kiss me._  
_Why didn't you?_ You're confusing me, what the fuck am I supposed to do?

Sasuke hugs himself and closes his eyes. Only thing he sees is the look on the stranger's face.

--

The next evening they leave for New York. The flight is too damn long and tiring, even the usually bouncy Deidara is creepily quiet, staring at the darkening sky. The others are sleeping, although you can see a glint of light between Pain's eyelids. Sasuke just sits, large earphones covering his ears, the rockband Girugamesh screaming in his head. He seems like he doesn't even listen, his thoughts are on something else.  
_'Don't you want to be?'_ That voice whispers again and again and Sasuke wants to say _yes, yes, yes,_ but _no, I can't, I won't._ You make me so sick. You make me feel dirty, just by glancing at me. You make me hate myself even more, but still I want to see you. How pathetic can I get? Sasuke bites his lip, drawing blood. That guy. Fucking with his head. He gets up and walks to the WC, closing the door behind him. He kneels and closes his eyes. He feels like throwing up.

Nothing.  
Nothing happens.

His eyes are stinging, his hands grab the edges of the toilet. Fuck you, he curses in his mind, but he's not angry. Pathetic. Pathetic, he tells himself over and over again. He feels awful. Pitiful. Walls of the toilet are filthy white. Poor, poor rockstar is like a black stain, dirtying the whiteness. He gets up and unlocks the door, slides back onto his seat.

Hah.

At least he will be able to concentrate on his upcoming tour and /not/ his mysterious... stalker. Fan. Whatever. A sigh escapes from his lips and he closes his eyes. Better just sleep, angsting over the fucker won't do anything good.  
'I hope that guy doesn't give me any nightmares', he thinks before he drifts to sleep...

_...' So, you're here." The voice is as enchanting as ever. He shivers, his nails are digging into his fists.  
"Y-yeah. I'm here," he answers and glances around. The darkness around him is suffocating. It's so terribly cold, he shivers, but not entirely from the cold. This.. robe..thing doesn't really warm him.  
"But what is here?" He asks, looks around again.  
"You don't need to konw that," the voice answers him. Chuckling, right there! Now it's near him and he knows it's that man.  
"You! Why are you - !" He's not given the chance to say anymore, there are lips on lips, fingers tickling the skin. He closes his eyes and feels ashamed when hears someone whine. He knows it's he himself..._

Sasuke...

He digs his fingers into the other's long hair, feeling too hot all of a sudden. The other is nibbling slightly on his lower lip.

Sasuke... !

Something's disturbing him, his eyes are wide open now. No, no, no, don't... the hand is brushing the robe out of the way.

Sasuke!

...  
"Sasuke, dammit!" He blinks and realizes he's still in the plane, sweating on his seat. His earphones have fallen to the floor.  
"W-what?" He stumbles, looking at the face of the bewildered Hidan hanging in front of him. The usually free-spirited drummer is looking uncharastically worried. He quickly retreats his hands from Sasuke's shoulders, when the singer shoots his icy, icy stare on him.  
"R-right. But I just thought that you were having a nightmare.. since you were all writhing around and mumbling..." Hidan explains, frowning. If it was anyone other than Sasuke, then he would have gone red that instant. But now, his face remains blank and icy. So.. mumbling? He really does hope he didn't say anything.. weird. He looks away.  
"Fuck off," he says, putting back on his earphones. The signal to end the conversation. Hidan smiles, he knows the time when Sasuke doesn't really mean it. He pats the singer's head and slides back to his place. 

Why isn't this damn flight over?

-- - - - - - -

Some time later they arrive to the airport. Terribly tired, desperately wanting to get to the hotel and to sleep, they drag themselves towards the limo. Hidan starts to jump around, Deidara pokes everything like an overly-curious five-year-old, Zetsu doesn't care, Kisame pulls Hidan back before he breaks something. Our little ice princess tucks himself into the corner of the car and pulls his hood up. It's not like they haven't travelled by limo before, isn't it?

Hey.

Wait a second.

Wait just a fucking second -!!

Is that... Sasuke presses his face against the window. It's that man indeed, walking away, dragging two bags with him.  
He stops.  
He turns.  
Sasuke feels his face flush when the stranger looks straight at him. He can't look away. Can't, even when the limo starts to move, he tries to look back, to get a glimpse.

--

The hotel is nothing fancy, it's like a copy of all the hotels they have been before. Sleep overcomes them for few hours, before Hidan wakes them all up. His wonderful decision is to drag the rest of the _S.I.N_ to a bar. Not just any bar, but the hottest night club in the whole city, or at least, this side of the city. It's always filled with celebrities; actors, actresses, singers, rappers. Those who aren't popular, try to do everything to get inside. _Chidori_ is a club with very strict codes, but fortunately_ S.I.N_ has two advantages: they are, after all, insanely popular and their eccentric manager knows two of _Chidori_'s doormen, who both are built much like Arnold Schwarzenegger.  
_'hella scary,'"_ as Deidara puts it, when they see those doormen. Those lining towards the door step mutter and yell when they glide past them, but all that changes when they see who exactly they are. Fangirls and fanboys alike, start to yell things like:  
_"Sasuke-kuuuuuuun, we love you!"  
"Fuck me, Hidan-saaaan 3!"_ and a few:  
_"Pain-sama, Pain-sama!"_ All of that is absolutely ridiculous. Especially when they start to add the honorific after their names. Well, sorry for being part japanese. Sasuke's head is already aching when he gets inside.

Fucking fanatics.

The music is ear-deafeningly loud inside. Sweat, people, seduction, sex, drugs, all in one fine package. This is a place for celebrities to forget themselves for a while, in the midst of others. Sasuke's disgusted by it, he slides away from the crowd, from his bandmates, but who cares?

Hidan is already dragging two young boys away, Deidara thinks he's a stripper, attracting the attention of dozen drooling females. For God's sake, he could never understand those two. Even Kisame is teasing someone, grinning like the mad shark he is. Zetsu is hiding in the corner, talking to Pain. They're too creepy for anyone to talk to them, even in their drug high.  
Sasuke sits beside the counter and orders something, _Bailey's _will do. It freezes him and he can become the notorious Ice Bitch again, no need to care about anything. He ignores the bartender's raised eyebrows, does he think the singer of the fucking _S.I.N_ is an alcoholic?  
He's already downing his fourth glass, ignores the calls of others. They know when to live him alone, now, don't they?

_Poor boy, doesn't he remember what happened the last time he got drunk?_ He gulps, eyes widening, that voice suddenly rings in his head again.  
_'Don't you want to?'_ It's like an icy finger trailing down his spine. He pushes the glass away from him and shivers. He can't, he just can't! Turn. Stare. His drummer and guitarist grind against each other, make out and get happily wasted. And make a few fans - where did they come from? - scream in joy. AND faint. Pfft. Typical fangirl-reaction. Sasuke sneers in disgust and shakes his head. Idiots.  
He doesn't notice.  
Oh no, doesn't notice someone sitting beside him, ordering a wine glass.

_"Hello, Sasuke."_

The poor singer freezes to his spot. No. Not here.  
He turns his head. Black eyes grow so wide.

"You."  
"Me," the man chuckles and takes a sip from his glass. Sasuke stumbles as he stands.  
"You're...y-you're following me," he says. What are you, a little girl? Stop sounding like one!  
"Indeed, Sasuke." The lack of honorific hurts his ears. That man has no right, absolutely no right to call him by his -  
"Itachi-san, here's more," the bartender says and smiles sweetly, pushing another wine glass towards the man. Sasuke raises his eyebrows.

"Yes, Sasuke. That's my name. So you don't have to call me '_you' _anymore," Itachi chuckles. The rockstar frowns. Why is that name so familiar? He backs away when the stalker stands up.  
"Do you want to come with me?" He smiles. Pure white teeth, he grins like a predator. His fingers are long and white as he touches the singer's shoulders. Sasuke swears he sees a hint of red in the other's eyes. Itachi repeats the question, his tone deceivingly gentle, but the curve of his lips promising something entirely different, something cruel.

Sasuke can't look him in the eyes anymore, he feels too warm now, the other is way too close.  
"F-fuck off," he whispers, runs to the middle of the dancers. Itachi follows, he walks, smirking. He's curious about the younger boy, admits that it's only a game, a very fun game to deceive the normally arrogant singer. There's that...other reason as well, but that is a secret, total secret, not meant for the ears of the world.  
He follows, eyes narrowing.

Nobody notices, Hidan and Deidara too high in their fantasy world, Kisame too interested in other things, Zetsu too disinterested. Pain's dangerous eyes follow Sasuke, see the man after him. He doesn't do anything. Why would he? He knows his singer, knows his past and character. Pain turns his head away when he hears the door close. Really. All of Sasuke's business is not his business.

---

Outside, Sasuke finds himself in the back alley. How stupid. He leans against the dead end, the wall blocking his way. He presses his forehead against the hard concrete, breathing deeply.  
Why the hell are his eyes stinging so much, his miserable black heart threatens to jump out of his chest.  
No one has ever affected him like this.

Ever since his parents were killed so weirdly when he was a kid, he hasn't cried. But now he's here on this fucking dead end and there're tears on his face. The wall is icy cold against his forehead. Fuck that man. Fuck him. Fuck them all. Fuck it...  
"Sasuke - " the chuckle rings in his ears. Now those hands are holding him too closely, too tightly. Sasuke goes stiff.  
"I-Itachi. Let go of me," how he hates the weakness of his own voice. Dark chuckle sends cold shivers, so close that hot, hot breath, lips almost touching his neck.

God.

He hates himself for liking it.

No, no, no, not like this. He can resist! he can...not. He turns and pushes the other away with shaking hands. It's not that he manages that, it's Itachi who backs away, still that smirk on his face.  
"Don't touch me!" Sasuke almost yells, a raised fist aimes towards the taller man's face. Unfortunately, Itachi is faster, his hands graps the singer's thin wrist.  
"Better not do that, Sasuke." How smoothly his name rolls off his tongue, the same that now invades his mouth, lips on lips and Sasuke's doesn't do anymore. Resistance is fucking futile. He closes his eyes and grabs Itachi's shirt, flushing when he realizes it's him moaning quietly into the other's mouth. Now Itachi's lips are moving to his jaw, his neck, his throat. Sasuke feels too warm, no, it's not.. r-right. It's getting harder to even think, he's ashamed when he hears the pathetic whine that escapes him. _But is it really him?_

_Itachi's eyes are enchanting, dangerous._

He -  
- _wakes up_ with a massive headache. Blink. Blink. He groggily sits up.  
What the fuck.  
He hits his foot against the night table beside the bed and curses, then sees a small note flutter to the floor. He picks it up. It's a note written by Pain, he's the only one whose handwriting is that neat.

_'Good morning, Sasuke-kun.  
We are checking out tonight's stage at Hebi. Come when you wake up, the driver's waiting. Yes I know, but it's your own fault for drinking so much and passing out in the damn club.  
- P.'_

What the hell.

---

It goes forward so fast... or stuff. Well, shit happens. I write this mostly on how I am feeling, sooo... at least read. And then review.


	2. QuarterVOID

That new Shippuuden-OPENING is loooove ! I think I may bring Sai to this fic, just 'cause he's.. Sai. You know..

**Warnings: **perverted taxidrivers, New York gig nro 1 (yes, it gets its own warning), random make-out sessions, lots of complaining

**Mood music: **Hellsing OST nro 1 & 2

----

The singer feels nauseous as he steps into the sunlight. Even with sunglasses on, headache pounds into his skull, his insides are turning upside down with anger and nervousness. It takes two very long minutes for him to prevent himself from running back inside, thoughts still on the last dream. That was just... creepy. After tossing his manager's note to the carbage bin, he waves his hand to catch the attention of a taxi – already forgetting that Pain's already reserved a driver for him, who cares?– and hisses angrily. This morning is certainly the definition of horrible.

_Fuck it. I don't feel like being awake right now, but then again... dreaming won't do anything good either. _

He shudders at the memory of the dream and unconsciously licks his lips, tasting something bitter that's unrecognizable. Shiver. The taxi comes and Sasuke steps in, rubbing his temples, not really bothering to look at the driver. It doesn't take long for the car to stop, the singer on the backseat has not once looked around.

"This is your stop. I'll let you go without paying, mr _Uchiha _I'm a big fan of yours" the taxi driver slurrs, he's a rugged-looking man with strange silver hair, his left eye hidden by it. His grin is uncomfortable. Sasuke snorts and tosses a dollar towards him.

"Take it. Thanks for the ride, _mister-who-ever-the-fuck-you-are," _he says quietly and turns to walk to the big, hip-looking building, with the word HEBI carved on the doors. He puts his hands into his pockets, keeping the uninterested gaze fixed on those maindoors. Hmmm, this tingly feeling in the back of his head...

What the..?... the turns and his eyebrow starts to twitch. That damn driver is still there, quite obviously staring at his adored, leather-clad butt. Ain't it tough to be a hottie? _And _famous? Sasuke flips his middle finger and disappears into the building, which seems to be ready to swallow him.

He's feeling even more drowsy inside, taking in the desks, coatracks, sofas, pictures on the walls. If this place is supposed to be homey, it fails to do so. The floor feels cold, even through the bottoms of Sasuke's thick boots. He wishes for his jacket, but bears with it, raising his head in time to see a pair of high-heeled shoes with a pair of long legs heading his way.

"Uchiha-san?" The woman is snobby, the way she's looking at him tells of a immediate disgust, like she doesn't have any happiness in her. She's short like a hobbit and Sasuke feels strangely superior next to her, hiding his smirk. If she hates him already, then well yeah, why should he care? It's not like she's the only one. He snorts and nods, taking off his sunglasses. The woman motions for him to follow. He keeps his silence and watches the fimly lit corridors with disinterest. He's still shivering, the jacket he actually brought with him doesn't offer much warmth.

After a minute which feels like an eternity, the snobby lady stops and opens a door leading to a large room. Sasuke's hangover feels worse the second he sees his bandmates; his idiot for a drummer nearly falling off the stage, his other idiot for a guitarist jumping around like a stupid little monkey, the others being a little more mature.

"Sasuke, yo, yeaaaaaah!" Dei greets, waving his hand excitedly.

"You made it here alive!" Hidan snickers and prepares to tackle the singer. Unfortunately, Sasuke rolls his eyes and dodges it, the tackle failing miserably, sending Hidan sprawled on the floor. Hands still in pockets, the singer walks in, looking around, something flickering in his black eyes. This stage is much bigger than the usual club ones, without losing its intimacy, the shady feeling that Sasuke admits the very much likes.

"I take it from your look, that it is to your liking, Sasuke-kun?" His black eyes stand fixed in the stage, he knows for sure, that Pain's hypnotic eyes are staring at him, never blinking.

"It's fine," he says and yawns, headache still very much existant. Pain's eyes narrow, he doesn't say a thing. It's that danger around him, the feeling around their manager, the power he holds. It makes the others shiver. Sometimes he reminds everyone of a lizard or a snake, the way he just stares and stares. And doesn't blink. Cunning bastard, he knows what goes around in everyone's mind. Sasuke glances at him, doesn't speak.

"Sasukeeee! Come see the view!" The singer climbs to the stage to join his bandmates, to get his mind off everything else. Ignores the two idiot blonds, nods to Zetsu, shakes head to Kisame, whose fingers are moving like he's already behind his keyboard. Sasuke labels all of them as freaks and just wants to go back to sleep. After all, long day before tonight's gig and of course those idiots will -

"Hey, Sasuke, come with us to the center, will ya?"

- want to go shopping like giggling teenage girls or just innocently explore the city. Jesus. Sasuke shrugs.

"Whatever. But not for long, I need to get back to sleep," he says, annoyed. Deidara jumps away from the stage, yelling something about explosives – it's a miracle he hasn't been arrested yet -, Hidan already digs his pockets for money, eyes gleaming dangerously. Kisame makes mocking remarks at Zetsu, dodging when the black and white bassist tries to hit him without blinking an eye. Sasuke had always had the reason to suspect that the bassist was suffering of multiple personality disorder, no normal human would change their moods so quickly. He turns a blind eye to them and just leads the way, Pain's presence looming over them.

They ride to the city, Sasuke sighing in relief to realize it's a different taxi, blabber and watch the scenery, actually enjoying the fact that they're in New York, the capital of... well, everything. Sasuke's been here before, he doesn't like America very much, it's just too... american. Bright and noisy and how he misses Japan, his hometown Kyoto, the temples, the quiet little places. Sometimes on tour he realizes he's just so homesick, which I kind of pathetic, since hasn't he travelled much before? Publicity comes with a price, he knows it way too well.

Glancing at his bandmates, though, that fact doesn't seem to faze them at all. Some of his headache is slipping away, seeing Hidan and Deidara point at everything to each other and blabber and blabber and somehow Sasuke's not at all annoyed by it.

The car halts to a stop, Pain orders a bodyguard, which they really don't need, to follow them, the weird-looking man with strange eyes to follow them. In New York, it's not a miracle if you see a celebrity, they can blend in here quite well, after all, there are just too many people. S.I.N puts on some sunglasses, a cap to hide Deidara's wild blond hair and off they go.

Hidan starts a conversation with the bodyguard, cunning fingers tingling the bigger man's arm, sneaky touch on the other's black hair. They know Hidan and recognize the familiar lusty glint in his eyes. For fuck's sake, control yourself! Deidara nags at the drummer for being an horny monkey and earns a chuckle from Kisame, who wiggles his nearly invisible eyebrows towards the girls that run past them. Sasuke stares ahead, feeling quite light-headed, it's his hangover's fault, why isn't it gone yet? He hides his eyes and doesn't even blink to the lusty gazes, giggling sounds from teenage girls. Few of them recognize, ask for an autograph which they grant for those who dare to ask.

It's no big deal, like it happens everyday.

_If he had watched the passerbys more closely, would he have noticed two darkhaired men, with the same kind of eyes, watching him from afar? _

Sasuke follows obediently the others, flat-out refusing to carry any of the others' bags, making a snappy remark on how much they are spending money. And they whine about him being a bitch again and him chuckling darkly. Slowly his own thoughts drift away from the others', setting on tonight's gig, on the upcoming horde of fangirls.

Setting on...

_eyes like the night itself, incubus' silky voice, hotter, hotter touch_

Sasuke stops, suddenly feeling like he's freezing.

He looks around, around and sees no one. Pain stares at him with unblinking eyes and raises one questioning eyebrow. Sasuke shakes his head, just walks. He wasn't thinking about that man, no, he wasn't _about eyes darker than black_

After an hour he's quite ready to kill himself. Being in the centre of this, of the noise and the people and the millions of shops was tiring. Deidara trying to balance a huge icecream tower in front of a small café. Hidan finding four new girlfriends and flirting with their bodyguard at the same time. Kisame scaring little kids. Zetsu disappeares somewhere to his own privacy and Sasuke feels like he should do the same time.

Well, he doesn't have to actually do it himself. They appear in the too big mall, watching and sniffing and looking around and soon the singer finds himself quite alone and lost, although the latter he does not admit.

_Will you hold me now, hold me now (1)_

A girl sings from somewhere, he turns and walks, drawn to it. _My frozen heart _It's a small shop, meant for girls, of course. Such a miserable song, the girl sounds like she's desperate, in pain. He snorts and stops, leans against the wall. His phone doesn't ring, he doesn't call. It beeps once and goes blind and deaf. Sasuke still closes his eyes and listens, suddenly feeling like the singer is singing about him.

_Am I ever gonna feel the same way again? _

Shut up. Like I ever felt something. He pulls his hood up and stares into nothingness, not noticing two shadows looming around the corner, not noticing that the saleswoman in the girly shop with the melancholic music is looking at him worriedly. Her hair is bubblegum-pink, she blinks at him, clearly not knowing who he is. Sasuke sits down on the bench next to him, lays his bags – why he has those, he doesn't know – at his feet. Sigh. Another one. The suffocating feeling is there again.

The song still plays behind him, making him miss winter back at home.

_I can't seem to find my way out alone_

Yeah, he can't. He's so deep in his thoughts he doesn't realize he's being watched, not just by that pink-haired girl behind him, in the shop with the glassdoors.

_Can you wake me? _

Nobody can. He sighs and -

"Sasuke."

Flinch. Black eyes meet the dark of the night and he stiffens, the song vanishing into distance. He stands up, grabbing his bags. _Please make it all go away_

Was he wishing that man would come again? He shakes his head, turns and runs, not caring about the stares. Itachi stands at the same spot, smirk on his face, but no real joy in his eyes.

_Am I ever gonna feel myself again_

The one next to him, tall man with wild black hair and expressionless eyes, gazes at him and says nothing. If Sasuke had stayed, he would have noticed a same sort of feeling with that man than that what he feels near Pain. The feeling of weird power, like you couldn't say no to this man.

"Ma - "

"Go," the other man says in a commanding tone, sudden anger in the voice that is deeper than the night.

And Itachi goes, he goes and follows Sasuke, who has quite quickly stopped running. Why the man does it, he can't say, although the little voice in the back of his head nags it being for his fun, for the joy of game, _the hunt. _The singer passes by a dressing room, goes back and stops there, tossing his bags to the floor. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! He stumbles for his phone, it has to have enough power for him to make just one call - ! Or maybe his wallet, if there's some money, he could...

"The fuck you're - !" His mouth opens, when he sees the one who snatches the phone, his wallet from his hands.

_No time for asking questions (2)_

_No time for wondering_

Sasuke backs away, starting to feel very trapped in the awfully small dressing room.

"Fuck off," he snarls. Itachi looks at him, slight smirk forming to his terribly handsome face – why that fucker isn't ugly, the rocker can't say -, slowly tugging Sasuke's belongings away. _You want to play a new game_

"You don't need these," he says quietly, closing the door behind him. His smaller companion snorts in disgust. He ignores the pounding song of the shop, Itachi listens to it and his smirk widens.

"Maybe I do," Sasuke hisses and cracks his knuckles. He'll punch the other if necessary. And clearly it is necessary.

"No, no, Sasuke-_kun, _that won't do," the other says, the honorific sounding so wrong coming out of his mouth. It's rude when he doesn't add it, it's horrible when he does, he makes it sound like he's talking to a little kid.

"Don't you dare - "

"Yes I dare," Itachi adds, eyes narrowing and Sasuke gets the same dangerous feeling that he gets from Pain, that he would have gotten from the man with Itachi. The wall stops his movement, no, no, he can't get away.

"Don't run."

"Like I could do that, fucker," he snarls, _keep your eyes in his eyes, if you look away he'll..._a hand reaches out and moves to his hair, tugging a strand of darker than black hair.

"You'll get wrinkles to your pretty face like that," Itachi whispers, his fingers tangling in Sasuke's hair. The latter shivers, with disgust, with anticipation.

_Your blood like ice (3)_

The pop song starts, it's beats reach the ears of the two cramped in the dressing room. Itachi grins and a creepy grin it is.

He leans forward, Sasuke raises his hands that are suddenly shaking, daring for the other to come few inches closer...

_one look could kill_

"You do not scare me, Sa-" One caress on his cheek.

_My pain_

"-Su-" The other's breathing on his face feels way too warm.

_Your thrill_

"-Ke" Itachi's eyes are too dark and Sasuke closes his, not daring to look.

"Good boy." He doesn't even have the time to protest, his defenses crumble the very second those lips reach his, the strong body presses against his.

_Your mouth so hot_

"F-fuck... you," it comes out as a whine and Sasuke punches the chest of the other, weakly, too weakly.

_Your web I'm caught_

The other steals his breath, he likes it, he hates it, those arms that sneak around him to crush him against the black-clad body. The mouth that cruelly clutches against his, the tongue invading his mouth.

_I hear you calling and it's needles and pins_

How he hates it, but can't admit he likes it.

"_Sasuke."_ Itachi's hands are way too strong, his fingers bite through his shirt, his jacket, his nails scratch his skin, his skinny little hipbones. The little fact that they are in the middle of a busy store kinda escapes both of them. Sasuke snarls quietly, hand already raising, Itachi grabbing his wrist, backing away a bit.

"Try that again and I will do something that you really won't appreciate," the taller man says, his smirk gone, his expression fading at the sight of the hatred in Sasuke's half-open eyes.

"What makes you say..." Itachi bites his neck and he hisses in pain.

_I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name_

"Fuck... what makes you fucking think that I - " The other's fingers escape under his shirt, they feel like they're burning against Sasuke's porcelain doll skin.

"That will come later," Itachi whispers, laughing at the song.

"... actually... appreciate..." His protest is cut off, Itachi's kiss is hard and cold and cruel, his hands on his chest, his stomach unfeeling. The rocker tries, yeah, he tries but nothing works, like his strength is being poured out of him the very moment. Now the other's eyes are too over-whelming, he shuts himself off, flinching when he tries to catch his breath, the other backing away for an inch.

_I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop_

"Fuck off," he says for the third time, voice so weak, so childish. Kiss, kiss, kiss, another after other, Itachi's hands slide to his back, scratch the back of the leather-clad trousers. Sasuke claws at his chest, not wanting to enjoy any of this.

_I wanna taste you_

The feeling of _wrong _comes suddenly.

_But your lips are venomous poison_

As suddenly as it began, it's gone. Sasuke takes a deep breath, opens his eyes, looks around. No one's there.

_I don't wanna break these chains_

He searches for his money, his phone and finds none. Uncertain finger rises and touches his lower lip, tongue tastes something ethereal, other-wordly. He runs out of the dressing room, he just wants to get the fuck away.

- - -

"Maaaaan, I can't believe the high and mighty rock GOD got _lost!" _Hidan snickers for the tenth time that night, adding more gel to his already slick hair. Sasuke unceremoniously empties a glass of water on his head, eyebrow twitching. It's only half an hour before tonight's gig and he's nerves are on the edge.

"Sasuke, are these yours?" Kisame tosses a lithe black phone and a leather wallet on the table, wonder on his shark-life face. The singer turns around, eyes widening slightly. He checks the objects, nodding to himself. _Was it that guy again? Did he return these?_

"The one downstairs said some dude came and gave these. A real heart-throb, she says," Kisame drifts off to his own things, already forgetting what he was going to say. Sasuke barely prevents himself from snarling, tugging his stuff to his bag, boots squeaking quietly.

Half an hour drifts by in a haze, Deidara is fussing about his wild, wild blond hair, making faces at his mirror. Zetsu snores in his chair. Sasuke takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Don't give a rat's ass about that fucker, he tells himself, nods quietly and knows he's ready.

Tonight it's going to be the first time they're going to sing few new singles live. What will the yankees like about them, they'll see.

Sounds go quiet, people run past and forth, making motions for S.I.N to come to stage.

They don't look at each other, there's no need for that.

_Forget everything. _

_Focus._

_Focus._

Sasuke struts to the stage seconds later after the others, black eyes in haze, taking in the scent of intimacy, leather, lust.

"You know who we are," he whispers. He's smirking now, eyes gleaming, touch hot on his hips. That's all he says, before glancing at Deidara, whose fingers are already moving too fast for human eye to see. He's grinning widely, flirt, flirt you mechanical boy, blond hair gleaming in the lights. Hidan beats his drums like a madman, the expression on his face reminds of a wild animal. His beats touch everyone's hearts, one feels them at the bottom of their throat.

Kisame plays, he's grinning too, nails leaving scratches to the keyboards.

Zetsu looms over them, the tall black and white figure, ever-expressionless eyes settling on the audience, his face unreadable.

And Sasuke shouts to the microphone at the top of his lungs, the darkness of his music swallowing him. _Can you hear this, fucker?_

One can only wonder how such a skinny body can hold such power. He yells, says the words of pain, suffer, curses, they don't make music of happy things, they tell of the world just right it is, black and white and grey and all of their tones.

So he sings and another group of people is swept away by his sin.

His sin of being so weak.

_Thought so, _he thinks to himself, when his gaze catches the familiar dark-haired figure at the back, moving steadily closer.

_Don't you dare... _his grip on the microphone is tighter, his voice much more angrier.

Itachi is closer, glancing up at him. Sasuke leans down and screams aloud, the audience screaming along. _Rage _ends and another one begins, the singer struts away, closer to Deidara, hand on blond hair, whispering something. The guitarist's eyes widen, he bursts out laughing. His playing is so wild, so _wild, _focus, focus, Sasuke finds his way closer to the edge of the stage, dark eyes digging a hole through Itachi's skull.

"_Fuck off,"_ he says quietly, keeping the microphone away, knowing that the man hears him anyway. Itachi's smirk just widens.

"_Make me," _he answers mockingly, Sasuke snarls, stands up.

Song after song, scream after scream, he locks his eyes to another pair of darkness and shivers.

Something is waking up inside of him and he's not sure if he likes it.

* * *

(Writer's block hit me like a tsunami.) Two cameo-roles of two well-known Naruto characters in this. Anyone catch those? I'll give you a cookie.

(1) lyrics from _Winter Sleep_ by OLIVIA (2) lyrics from _Meet Your Master_ by Nine Inch Nails (3) lyrics from _Poison,_ originally by Alice Cooper, but it's the Groove Coverage-version I mean here. Those lyrics are there on purpose, meant to reflect Sasuke's feelings a little.

Read and REVIEW!


	3. Hell Go Round

Oooookay and here it is!

**Warnings: **more sexual harrassing, phonebooths, fanboys, more gigs, überBitchy!Sasuke, Stalker!Itachi, Miserable!Hidan, a hint of SasuHidaness (lol)

**Disclaimer:** lalaaa if I owned NARUTO... _evil thoughts, evil thoughts._

- - - - - - - - - - -

"_No, no, no..."_

_The rustling of the fabric._

_Breathing._

_Remember to breathe..._

"_Fuck you -"_

"_I know, I know. Be more like that, I love your face like that..."_

"_Shut up..."_

_Rustle._

_Chuckling. The clinking of - _

_Breathe._

A string of curses echoes from the walls of the room, coming from the ruffled figure laying on the bed, tangled in his silky sheets. It's not pretty language that comes out of the pretty boy's mouth, certainly not. But it is understandable, concerning the dream he just had. Sasuke Uchiha, the rockstar with darkness in him and barely twenty and more years behind him, has been fucked up seriously. It all begins with this darkhaired stranger, Itachi, _the darkness, danger, seduction, _and as much as Sasuke hates it, he can't help but be affected by the other man.

Now he gets up from his sweaty, hot bed – _affected by the dream he just had -, _still cursing loudly, then hittings his foot against the nighttable and cursing even more.

He stumbles to the bathroom, washing his face with _icy cold _water and only then noticing the dark circles around his eyes.

"I don't care," he hisses and knows why it is so hard to fall asleep during the evenings when he's alone. More cursing, more hissing and -

the arm sneaking around his bare, skinny shoulders is not needed, not at all.

"Hidan," Sasuke's voice is low and threatening. The drummer's happy face is not the thing he wants to see now.

"Good morning, sunshine. Using profanities so early, hmm?" The taller man is not clearly going to move, even when Sasuke shoots his most deadliest death glare against him.

"Are you fucking high, you moron? Don't touch me." Hidan back away only a little, the glint in his eyes not promising anything good.

"Who's the moron here, _Sasu-chan. _You've been acting so strange these days and I was just worried," the drummer shrugs, his fingers lighting the cigarette between his lips. The singer goes quiet, suddenly sensing the hurt behind Hidan's nonchalant attitude. Sasuke snatches the cigarette from his drummer and looks at him in a way, that has always taken everyone's breath away.

"Kiss me," he says and Hidan coughes.

"What?!"

"Just do it." Sasuke is still looking at him, nothing moving behind long eyelashes. Hidan wants, yes he does. He steps forward and kisses the lips that are cold like ice. He's careful, he doesn't touch his lead singer in any other way, he's scared.

The first one to back away is Sasuke, cigarette still burning between his fingers. He shakes his head. Hidan licks his lips and steps back, craving more, but realizing _he is just a..._

"Not the same," Sasuke says to himself and places the cigarette between his lips, already forgetting what Hidan did, like he hasn't known about Hidan's attraction to him. He knows he's selfish and arrogant and complete bastard all in all.

"Wha..." The drummer is choking on his words. Sasuke's black eyes are hard as steel now.

"I'm using you. I'm going mad. Don't waste your time being worried of me, now go." The singer says, to Hidan he doesn't make sense, but there are a lot of things that don't make sense these days. The rockstar's name is the only thing that comes from Hidan, the sight of the tired Sasuke, unhappy, pissed of, somehow very sad, bare-chested Sasuke is too much. The drummer leaves, licking his lips again and going off to find some comfort.

Sasuke's fist meets the mirror, the mirror meets its end and breaks into many tiny pieces.

It's all _that guy's_ fault. The singer doesn't mind the pain in his hand, his bleeding knuckles. He picks up a shirt and puts it on, grabbing his bag, his jacket on the way, the sunglasses hiding his tired eyes. The blood coming from his knuckles is staining the shirt, but does he care? No, he doesn't care.

He marches down the corridor, away from the messy room, away from the dreams, _nightmares._

He passes the bar, the reception desk – not a single glance towards the receptionist, the snobby bitch with black-rimmed glasses – and the doorman. The sun outside does not shine to him, it leaves him without warmth. He pushes his sunglasses further up his nose and starts to walk. Sometimes he just wants to be left alone, even after the incident in the bathroom... his consience is quiet, it doesn't nag that the kiss he gave was like a slap in the face.

This particular street of New York is uncharacteristically quiet, only a few people passing him by and not giving him a single glance. Anxiousness and bad thoughts are swirling inside, the wind ruffling his hair is like an icy hand full of sharp nails ready to rip out his eyes.

Sasuke walks and the world is stopping around him.

Sasuke walks and the eyes of others don't mean a thing.

Sasuke walks and forgets.

He sees the small café he saw last night and stops there, ordering _café latte. _What's with this cynical feeling that has hit him? Sasuke has never quite been the one to feel, to smile like a normal person, so this overflow is making him mad. It all comes down to...

_smooth voice, silky fingers dancing on bare skin_

he flinches and makes the waitress look at him worriedly.  
"Mister - "

"I'm okay," he lies easily and offers a shadow of a smile to the girl. The waitress believes him and smiles, giving him his coffee.

For an hour he sits and thinks, watching the world beside the window go by with disinterest. He sees the young couple and feels like throwing up. He sees the old man and feels emptiness. Why is he sitting here? He should be doing something, not wonder on the dreams he had had, not think about that man. He knows he's fucked up, through and through.

Leaving is easy, but somehow he doesn't want to go back to the hotel. So he wanders the city for a while, a while that turns into hours. Already he wants to see the other man – and doesn't want to see him – and feel...

He hears a phone ring and looks around, patting his pockets, realizing two things at the same time. First, it's not his phone that is ringing. Two, it's because his phone is not here with him, he left it in his room. Sasuke curses and looks around. He's in an unknown part, all the streets look the same to him, fuck it, this is going nowhere. He looks around his jacket and bag for his wallet, the little golden and silver coins and picks a few.

One glare from the deathly black eyes drives away the woman in the business suit and the phonebooth at the corner of the quiet street is his. He hates phonebooths, they are fucking claustrophobic and especially after the _dressing room incident_ – _your blood like ice – _he doesn't want to be in a cramped little space, even though the other man hasn't shown his face.

His fingers are trembling when he picks up the phone and dials the numbers.

Pain is sure to answer, the manager can't leave his refugees in danger, now can't he?

But Pain is known to be a bastard and he could just say: _'But Sasuke-kun, why not walk to the hotel? Just ask a few people for directions if you don't know where you are.'_

Sasuke feels anger and the grip on the phone is tighter.

"Tsk, tsk." This feeling is familiar.

Nobody is answering the phone.

"Is my little kitten lost?" Whispers the voice and Sasuke feels the sudden urge to shriek in desperation. No way... no way!

"You..." turn. The amused half-smile and dark eyes are too close. Sasuke hisses and glares at Itachi; "Fucking stalker."

The phone rings at the other end and someone speaks and it's not Pain. Sasuke feels frustrated and misses the cigarette he dumped in the café hours ago. Itachi is closer, his lips caressing the smaller man's neck, his arms tightly clasped around Sasuke's waist.

The singer is afraid he'll break the phone if he squeezes it any tighter.

"Stop it." He hisses and curses in his mind. Curses himself, Itachi and Pain for not answering. Itachi's sneaky hand under his shirt feels hot against his icy skin, the taller man's mouth twitching into a twisted smile when he bites _almost gently_ this porcelain neck in front of him. A groan comes out instead of profanities, but resistance instead of willingness.

"Don't..." it comes out as a whine.

"_Sasuke-kun? Is that you?" _The voice at the other end is indeed Pain, sounding as nonchalant as ever. Sasuke's hand is trembling.

Why aren't people looking? Nobody comes to this street, only those business women and men and they don't care, too busy to look around.

"Y-yes," he hisses to the phone. Itachi's nails scratch his chest now, Sasuke is cradled against the larger body in a way that indicates no escape.

"_Are you alright? Hidan came up in the morning looking very out of it... and you just vanished. Where the hell are you?" _Pain sounds annoyed, so troublesome to take care of his divas. Sasuke takes a deep breath and tries to push Itachi away with his free hand, at least for a moment so he could speak normally.

"I'm at the...hmm.." He turns his head, only to be caught by a _poisonous kiss_, which lasts for a blink of an eye, but leaves him breathless. He forgets what he was going to for a second, then glares at the street signs and whispers the name to Pain. He can't get rid of Itachi, even though the man is driving him absotely mad.

"You're bleeding," the taller man mumbles behind him and takes his white hand, now colored red in his own. For a moment Sasuke has forgotten all about the busted mirror in his room. He looks at Itachi and just shakes his head. The his manager's voice floats back again and he concentrates the best he can.

"_Okay. I'll send Hidan to get you. Don't move from there." _Pain's voice is trying to be reassuring, but even through his haze, Sasuke can sense the irritation, that is growing larger by any minute. _No, fuck, Hidan. Not him. _

"Pain..." He breaths to the phone but he hears only emptiness. Itachi has backed away, he's now nuzzling the singer's neck and clearly chuckling.

"Geez." Sasuke lets the phone drop and presses his face against the glassy wall of the booth.

"Are you fucking happy?" He asks, both Itachi and himself. The former sighs against his neck.

"Why aren't you already ripping my eyes out with those claws of yours?" Mock, mock, _mock_. Is that all this man does?

Sasuke turns and he's fucking miserable. Itachi's face is unreadable, the chuckle still evident, but the grin non-existant.

"Are you?" The smaller man asks again, craving for touch, hating it, hating the world around him. Itachi snorts and leans forward. The phone is pressing against Sasuke's back, the business woman passing by stopping and staring, a familiar figure at the end of the street coming closer but that's all in the other world.

Itachi kisses him and it's different this time, somehow. The seduction is there, this hellish warmth, the staining poison, but under all of it, is the revealed soul of a misunderstood man. Sasuke doesn't resist. He doesn't answer it either. His black eyes are half-closed, he is clutching the front of his Itachi's jacket and breathing quickly.

"I am not." The taller man finally answers in words, his gaze on something else than the singer.

"Leave me alone," Sasuke manages to say and gets and armful of dark hair and long arms, that one moment of weakness totally gone. He stumbles out of the booth and lets out a whine, when Itachi bites his neck again, then ravishes his mouth, like a mad man, like trying to make Sasuke forget that one kiss that was so different from anything, forget the gaze that spoke of loneliness.

"S-Sasuke-san - "

"..."

Itachi backs away only so much, that Sasuke can turn his head and see the disheveled-looking Hidan staring at them. The hurt is now obvious in his eyes.

"Ah. I see," he whispers and looks down for a second. Itachi's eyes narrow and he chuckles darkly, turning – _his trench coat slides against the singer and the drummer – _away and he vanishes into the slowly increasing crowd. Hidan starts to walk the other direction and Sasuke follows, looking back only once.

The phonebooth is still there, innocent, but dirty, one of it's glassy walls nearly broken, the phone still off its place.

_Dirty._

_Broken._

Old-style _phonebooth_, soon to be demolished.

Sasuke feels sick and walks beside Hidan.

His consience is still quiet.

It's not like he was the one who did something wrong, right?

Right?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After a week, it's finally time for their last gig in New York. It's at the club called _The Sound,_ a well-known party place in the night life of the Big Apple. _S.I.N_ is already yearning for home, for Tokyo's busy streets, for Kyoto's temples, for Yokohama's museums, for everything that makes Japan what it is. Dedicated fans are lining up in front of _The Sound, _amongst them are few curious ones, few bored ones. Lots and lots of people, some of them dressed like their idols, few of them cosplaying, somebody has brought a guitar and is playing it in the autumn wind.

In the club, at the backrooms, the band is getting ready. The gap between the drummer and the singer is noticeably wide, Hidan chatting with Kisame at the other end, Sasuke adding eyeliner, his mouth a thin line. Deidara stretches his fingers and looks at his bandmates, frowning. Few times he opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it, because there really isn't anything to say.

"_For the heart I'll never have_

_For the child forever gone..."_

Zetsu moves to the room without any sound, other than the high female voice singing from his small iPod. Sasuke doesn't move, but the words from the song wake something in him and he narrows his eyes at his bassist.

"_The music flows because it loves..."_

Screw the fans. Those girls and boys now barging inside the club, filling it with the sound of their steps, their excited chattering. Screw the gig. Pain nods to them from the door, Kisame grins his shark-like grin. _Screw this fucking shit. _Sasuke smirks and his black eyes are gleaming, the familiar, hot feeling already swirling inside like a _whirlpool._

"_For the heart I once had..."_

Sasuke stands up and his hand slides through his spiky hair, making sure it's the way he likes it. Hidan ignores him.

They walk towards the stage, _for the heart I once had, _shouts the woman from Zetsu and the bassist is now like a shadow of death. They walk, five young men, each having their own lives, own things. This is the thing that makes _five become one._

"_Evening," _Sasuke greets and the fans start to scream. Sometimes he would just like to yell at them to shut the fuck up, it's not like that they are going to go anywhere, hmm?

_I'll show you all. I don't care. I'll show you!_

He thinks and closes his eyes for a second, listening. Zetsu's bass murmurs like a beast awaken from its dreams.

The_ sound_ of the guitar is deafening and the cackle Deidara lets out is maddening. He wants to laugh, too and so he does, chuckles to the microphone and then it begins.

It begins with _Pain, _the embodiment of it standing backstage and listening, Sasuke sings and the world shrinks around them.

There's only this stage, this club, these people.

His black eyes look at the crowd and see no sign of Itachi, _for a moment he sighs in relief, _and just lives his – no, their – music, Hidan's skillful, angry drumming, mad tingling from Kisame's keyboard.

Time flies by and the _phonebooth, the bathroom, _both feel like a distant nightmare.

He smirks and licks his lip, always the seducer – _never the seduced, not until now -, _incubus, the demon. There's this one boy in the front, pale like him, short black hair and that irritating kind of grin on his face. He kind of dances to Sasuke's sight and holds his gaze. The annoying kid holds his hands in the form of a heart and winks.

The singer takes a deep breath and laughs, who the hell this fucker is, neither he nor the other notice how Deidara flirts with their fans – especially a sleepy-looking, redhaired youngster -, how Hidan stares at Sasuke's back, his brows furrowed, his hands moving robotically.

The night is over and the early flight back home is waiting.

When they get off the stage – Sasuke still remembers the wink from the silly fanboy -, only thing in their minds is sleep. Being on tour is always too exhausting, few hours of sleep whenever they can, harrassment cases where the one harrassing is always fleeing, screaming fans. But it's a part of being a professional.

- - - - -

The flight to Japan had been uneventful, besides the fact that Deidara snoozed of in the middle and started to scream about aliens. How different was it, compared to the Big Apple, to America. Sasuke wakes up in his small apartment and takes a deep breath.

No nightmares. Not a single one ever since the flight a week ago. S.I.N had decided to keep a month-long vacation from everything, they all going their ways. It's a good thing, Sasuke thinks to himself, keeping a small distance from everyone for a month. Pain knows how his divas think, what they like. Their manager is a smart man, he noticed easily how awkward Hidan feels, how Sasuke wants to stay alone.

So.

A month without each other.

A vacation, Pain calls it.

Smart man, that one.

Sasuke gets his post and just he sits to enjoy his morning coffee, he realizes something.

"_Why aren't you already ripping my eyes out with those claws of yours?" _

That is missing. That shaky feeling. That strong body pressing against his.

Sasuke gulps down his coffee and allows himself a snicker.

He hopes that the fucker doesn't show his face for the next... let's say, _millennium._

Few minutes later Sasuke is already out of the door, meeting with a friend. No, an acquaintance is a much better word _'cause Sasuke doesn't have any friends, is that right?_ This acquaintance is a grey-haired man with round glasses, always nodding to himself. Sasuke goes off to speak to him, the awkward relationship began few years ago when that guy, offered him work.

What kind of work, 17-year-old Sasuke found quite quickly.

Now he speaks and the other pays his drink, his food. The other speaks and Sasuke barely listens, his hands suddenly shaking, the small café around them going around.

"What?" He manages to say before everything goes black.

* * *

Ooh where did Itachi disappear? Who was the winking fanboy? Why did he black out? LALALAA Review and you shall find out!

(I'm soorrryyy! Honestly, I'm sorry nothing really happened here and it was all shitty and stuff. I didn't have the tiniest clue what to write and I just made everything up while writing and stuff. Teehee, cameoroles from Naruto characters again.)

Oh, the song Zetsu was listening was For The Heart I Once Had by our very own Nightwish.

Okay. Review, someone?


	4. Hell Go RoundxBetray

SORRY !

I know it's been over a month but yeah, I've been lazy and then a lot of shit happened in my life, like me moving to a new home, my driving school starting... (whoops).

**Kaiden**, yeah, it was Sai and Sasori in the last chap. My updates are quite slow, might take a month or two for me to get to writing the new chapter.

Yes, Itachi, the sneaky, sneaky bastard...

Yessss, a new chapter! Few questions might be answered, more questions might be asked.

**Warnings:** unintetional!Hidan!bashing & Whiny!Pathetic!Hidan, mentions of boy on boy-sex, YberBitchy!Sasuke (isn't he always?), more cameoguys, scary!Pain, new!guy, lots and lots of self!hate, more angsting, lots of confusion, OOC!Itachioh, and did I mention confusion?

**Mood music: **Nightwish, Jenni Vartiainen, OLIVIA

* * *

The smoke is intruding, it creeps in and out of him, transforming into small circles. The cigarette between the lithe fingers is still burning. Black eyes. Black hair. Sasuke turns his head to watch the figure laying on the bed. Away the gaze goes again and the scenery behind the cold window is unfeeling. This small apartment is not his, it belongs to the fair-haired man on the bed. Sasuke sighs, the cigarette now quietly burning between his lips, dark eyes completely expressionless.

What's gone into him?

This thing that he did. Last night, like the many, many nights before it, have been completele chaos.

"_Sasuke, what the hell are - "_

"_Shut the fuck up."_

The singer leans against the window and sighs, closing his eyes.

Shameful..

"_Fuck me."_

"_...what?"_

Snort. Really, now. He knows, it was a great mistake to go wandering to his bandmate's door that night so many nights ago. But...

"_No way, you're d-drunk..."_

"_I mean what I say, fucker. Don't you lust after me every time you see me?" _

Of course he knows he was cruel, using others like that. And he knows it's stupid. Horribly stupid.

But Hidan was there - still is - and _he _wasn't and Sasuke was desperate and lonely and shameful, his pride gone down the drain.

The singer snorts by the window again, smokes a little more, doesn't spare a glance towards the sleeping drummer. Hidan is such a stupid fuck

for letting him in here,

for letting him live here,

for letting his desire overcome him like that.

Sasuke should be going by now, this thing, you could hardly call it a _relationship, _has been going on for too long. He leans down, picks up the torn, old shirt, puts it on, one of the buttons missing.

Perhaps it fell off last night?

"_Hey, fucker!"_

"_Sorry, Sasuke, I was just - "_

"_Don't be ... ahh..such a whiny little... shit..."_

he throws a glance at Hidan, the drummer is awake and glancing at him.

"Are you.. leaving?"

Sasuke grooms his hair, this small, vain gesture.

"What does it look like, moron." A glare. "Grow a spine," he hisses, cruel tint in the dark eyes. Hidan doesn't look at him, regret and anger.

"I.. do have a spine," he mumbles and looks thin and small like a little boy. Sasuke feels uncharacteric and strange, he drills holes through his drummer.

"Don't start to spout some crap like that. If you had a little more spine, you wouldn't have let this happen," _yeah, Uchiha-san, like the fault is all his?_ "and you act like a whiny little kid every time you're near me. Don't say you're in love with me or desire me, those are not worth shit," the rockstar says angrily, standing up, pulling up the zipper of his leather jacket. Hidan opens his mouth to protest, to say something, _No, I don't love you, I couldn't do that, _but he stays quiet, hazy eyes more miserable than ever.

Sasuke doesn't know what's inside his mind, his insides are turning upside down in fear, _let me go now, don't make that face, let me go, stop your pointless desire, suffocate it... _

He shakes his head.

"You're just a replacement," the words hit Hidan like wildfire, painful, so true, especially, since he knew it already. He hides his face behind the sheets, his suddenly wildly shivering hands.

When he raises his face again, after a minute that is an eternity, after the silent sounds of a heart breaking into pieces, Sasuke is

gone.

No tears and Hidan bites his lips to stop the little sound of sadness from escaping his throat.

No tears.

Few minutes later, the shrill sound of the phone cuts through his choking silence. He searches for it, finds the sleek red thing under the bed and answers.

"_Hidan?" _God, Pain's monotone is irritating.

"Yeah," Hidan says, voice shivering.

Still no tears.

What did he expect? For Sasuke to stay here forever? For Sasuke to fall in love with him?

No.

"_We got a gig for the day after tomorrow. At Hebi's. You have Zetsu's number, call him._

_I will contact the others."_

"Yeah..."

"_... oh, and Hidan. I know you're distressed and who's the cause for it -"_

"What... how do you -"

Hidan almost chokes on his cigarette. There's no change in Pain's voice, one of the few people who can talk about love and death in same sentence without raising an eyebrow.

"_You should know by now that I have my resources. Do not think that I am blind. If something is affecting my band, I will know of it." _Hidan nods to himself. The smoke rising from the tip of the cigar is dull gray.

"_Don't let your distress affect your playing. I won't let you slack off. Practice. Today at four. Be there," _the menace in Pain's monotone makes the fair-haired drummer's skin crawl.

"No, I won't let it affect... yes, yes, I'll be there..." Pain says his goodbye and Hidan snaps his phone shut.

Fuck that man.

But S.I.N is part of his life and he doesn't want to leave it.

At least...

not yet.

He'll just bury any feelings he has for their singer. _His eyes are starting to burn._ After all, isn't he just an replacement for _that_ man?

- - -

Clock is ticking four and the tension in their practice place is overwhelming. Hidan sits behind his drums, staring at the pair of expensive sneakers sticking out in front of him. Kisame makes faces at the mirror from the wall, he feels like biting something would be good. Zetsu stands like a soldier and gazes at the frowning Pain for orders. Deidara has stopped his joking just a minute ago, the eccentric guitarist glancing at his bandmates anxiously.

"Hey guys - " he starts, but one look from Pain's terrifying eyes is enough to silence him.

The sound of footsteps make all of them turn their heads towards the door.

Sasuke stares at them with narrow, angry eyes. No greetings.

He walks forward and takes his place, throwing his jacket and bag to the corner.

"Let's start with_ "sekai."_

"Hurry up," Pain commands and his ever-expressionless face remains that way, as he retreats further away.

_Sekai, world, is the song about a man wanting to be God._

While playing, Hidan forgets about the singer's face at night, the drumsticks are like extensions of his hands.

While singing, Sasuke forgets about _him _and months of loneliness, forgets Hidan and his miserable, desperate face at night, _don't leave me, Sasuke_

"_Kore wa oretachi no sekai."_

Three minutes of low seductiveness, anger, me against the world-attitude.

The practice lasts for two whole hours, Pain whipping them into a crazy frenzy, never raising his voice, never moving an inch. Menacing words and creepy spiral eyes – Deidara wants to know where he gots those contacts and Pain says they are _his natural eyes – _are enough.

After two hours, they part ways, Sasuke throws the cigarette pack to the carbage bin, not borheting with the thought that they are not his.

His apartment is dusty when he finally returns there. Locking the door behind him, he tosses his jacket to the floor, pushing his shoes away from the way.

He walks and the white shirt finds its way to his couch. He walks and the clothes fall, leaving the singer's body bare, old and newer marks of shameless bites on his neck.

The door to the bathroom is freezing. Tired dark eyes look back from the small mirror. Sasuke turns away and steps inside the stall. It feels cramped, the water falling on his face and body is

_hot_

_"Do you want to come with me?"_

Sasuke shivers.

First two months were peaceful enough. After the _phonebooth_ incident, Itachi had more or less disappeared.

First, it had been relaxing.

Then it was weird.

Paranoia hit him, he stayed inside and didn't move, afraid that the man would appear from thin air.

After three months, he was frustrated out of his mind, one part of him missing Itachi and his dark words.

_Shameful._

It didn't take long for Sasuke to get drunk out of his mind and knock on Hidan's door. Three months of rough, angry sex and undeniable cruelty and

here he is now.

Sasuke leans against the shower wall and shakes his head, grinning without joy.

_What do you do to me, fucker?_

He sits, his hand like a white insect on his thigh.

Pathetic, isn't he?

Eyes closed, eyelashes tickling his cheek.

"_Sasuke-kun. Do you really want that?"_

His voice comes out as a low moan. Snow white fingers quick between the slender, but strong legs. Sasuke breathes deeply and sees the maddening smirk.

Truly pathetic.

Someone is laughing in his ears and it takes a moment to realize it's him.

Itachi...

_Itachi... _his heart beats, his nails dig into the pale skin.

Fuck you.

Take a deep breath.

_Drown, drown in to the darkness of that heart - _

Sasuke wakes up a moment later, shaken by someone, his back hurting like hell.

Did he faint? Blink. Opens his eyes to see Pain's spiral gaze drill a hole through his head.

Oh. No questions.

_Sasuke had long ago learned not to ask, Pain has his reasons, his ways to get in without breaking the lock._

The singer tries to get up, realizing with a start, that his legs are numb, his head is aching.

"W-wha?" He blinks, his eyes are hurting. Pain's face seems to fade in front of him, the manager's fair hand cool on his burning forehead.

"You have a fever. I was coming to inform you about the gig, but you must forget it now." Sasuke forgets instantly that they are sitting on the floor of the stall, that he's naked and aching and oh god, the freaking gig!

"You're not going anywhere." The silent command in the orange-head's voice is frightening enough to make the rock star nod.

Pain wraps him in a towel, leads him to his room, to the lonely, uncomfortable bed.

"You have fainted a few times before. Take better care of yourself," the manager says and Sasuke makes a whiny sound, hiding his face behind the blanket. It's only Pain that he shows this weakness in him. The quiet manager helps him without a word, never telling anyone.

Always in the middle of his own secrets.

His hands are big on Sasuke's skinny shoulders.

"Thanks," the singer mumbles dizzily, carefully hiding himself under the blankets. How didn't he realize.

"Get better. We will come to see you," Pain says, in his eyes, there is the deep nothingness of death.

Sasuke fears him, turns away and closes his own eyes.

Pain shifts quietly away.

The singer feels like a child being scolded by his parents – even though he doesn't remember what it felt like having parents, all he remembers is his mother's beautiful smile.

For a week, he lies on his bed, barely moving.

For a week, he drifts back into his memories, thinking about mother's sad face and thinking, _'where's daddy?'_

Deidara visits every day, dragging the reluctant Zetsu with him.

Pain visits once, Hidan stays behind him, never looking at the bed-ridden brunette.

They all know this is it.

Then Hidan goes and doesn't come back _ever again, _the crazy drummer much more fragile than no one ever knew, bearing being used only for so long.

Well, he would have left anyway, even if Pain hadn't made him resign.

Stupid.

On the sixth day of his sick week, Kisame comes, grinning like a mad shark, saying, that Pain is looking for a new drummer, who could successfully erase Hidan from their minds, _"We do not need low-lifes who are affected by their superficial desires,", Pain said. _

On seventh day, Sasuke walks around in his apartment, smokes, curses, glares. Then he snorts, realizing that not once did he think of Itachi during the week.

How ridiculous.

On seventh day, Sasuke sits down in his tiny kitchen. His phone rings, the faint voice Olivia screaming something incoherent.

"Yeah?" He mumbles tiredly. When the person on the other end speaks, he freezes.

Such a familiar voice.

"_Hello, Sasuke." _The brunette tosses the phone, confused and scared out of his mind.

How he hopes, it wasn't _him._

_He hopes it was him. _

Two days later, they gather back to their practice place.

Deidara with his guitar, Zetsu with his bass, Kisame with his keyboard, Sasuke with his microphone.

The hole left by their former drummer is large, all of them are wishing for someone to fill it quickly.

They practice and practice, none of them say it aloud, because they all know.

Deidara blames Sasuke for it, the blond guitarist throwing irritated looks towards their unofficial leader. It's no secret, that Deidara thought of Hidan as a friend.

_But, _as Pain puts it, they are not meant to be friends, they are acquaintances, they put their darkness into their music, for their money, for their lives.

So, when few days later, Pain comes and brings a smaller figure with him, S.I.N accepts the new member with ease, after hearing his loud and undoubtly skillful drumming.

Suigetsu is his name, Kisame's cousing, it seems.

He grins the same way with those shark-like teeth.

Three weeks later, after one nearly failed kid, where Sasuke _almost _fell of the stage, where Suigetsu forgot his beats and drummed something incoherent on his own.

Three weeks later, the said young shark and Deidara lay in Sasuke's apartment glared by its owner.

It's the eve of Sasuke's 22nd birthday, Deidara is wasted out of his mind, giggling on the floor, Suigetsu is talking on the phone. Other members left only minutes ago, the place a hideous mess. Open packages, cigarettes, beer. Sasuke gathers a few bottles to one pile and sighs.

22 years.

Feels like a fucking century.

He sits down beside the phone and yawns. Deidara stops giggling and falls asleep. Suigetsu stops talking and starts to snore loudly on the couch, that stupid shark-grin plastered on his face.

It's only for a moment, when Sasuke closes his eyes, when -

_knock, knock_

The demanding knocking wakes him from his trance.

"Who the fuck - " he stumbles up and towards the door.

Without noticing the menacing atmosphere. Without lookin through the doorhole. (1)

_Tsk, tsk. What a mistake._

"Coming, coming," he mutters, scrambles the chain and the door handle.

"So what's your - " His words die in his mouth.

The face hovering a little over him is a face he hasn't seen for over half a year. The long collar covering half of his face, bright red eyes empty and creepy.

Sasuke reaches for the door handle, too slow, Itachi grabs his wrist.

"_Sasuke..." _the man leans forwards, yanking his collar down to reveal a white, unhappy smirk. "Did you miss me?" The singer hisses like an angry cat and shakes his head, although his mind is shouting: _Yes, yes, fucker, yes, yes, fuck you!_

"_Happy birthday." _Itachi whispers and his red eyes are mesmerizing. Sasuke wonders if he's wearing contacts, but dismisses the thought.

Those are definitely real.

"I'll tell you a secret," the red-eyed man says and his body is hot against Sasuke's. Too close, too close...

"I don't need anything from you," Sasuke says, face up, even if he doesn't mean to do that.

Itachi cuts him off with a kiss, his hands pressing the singer's back painfully, his lips still _hellish, hot and hurting_

Then the taller man moves his lips closer to the singer's ear.

He whispers something.

Few words.

Something is breaking.

Itachi steps back, his hand cool, stiff like a robot's hand, as it caresses the smaller man's face.

The taller man doesn't smirk or chuckle, he's completely without any expression, redness fading from his eyes, leaving only the endless darkness.

"Foolish", he whispers. The word meant for both him and Sasuke.

His thin finger pokes gently the latter's forehead, faint memory of a smile caressing his face.

No more does he say, no need to.

Sasuke stands frozen to the spot, shocked of what he just heard, _can't be happening, you're joking, fucking liar, liar, fuck you, _

when he moves again, Itachi is gone.

He blinks and closes the door, stumbling to the floor near it, eyes large and childish.

Shame and anger and desire are boiling inside of him.

When the snoring Suigetsu wakes up, sees their singer and asks what's wrong, Sasuke shakes his head, hiding his face behind his hands.

_Damn it. He fucked with me._

_Fucked. Badly._

_... I am to blame too, aren't I?_

He laughs in his place on the floor.

Hilarious, hilarious!

He doesn't see or hear Suigetsu dragging the sleepily giggling Deidara away.

He doesn't notice anything.

_I'm still human._

_No matter how hard I try to be something else._

_Fucked up. __Fucked. _

The apartment is left in the dark and Sasuke is broken.

* * *

Hopeeee you like !

Cookies for the person, who can guess what Itachi said to Sasuke.

(1). doorhole. Err. Well, I don't know what it is in english, nor did I find it anywhere. But what I mean is the small hole in the doors in the apartment buildings. "door eye" would be the right word if translating straight from finnish to english.


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